Endings are Never Easy

  Loving a horse sometimes means we will have to make the tough decisions. They often don't feel good for us but sometimes the kindest thing we can do is say goodbye.  This summer we put down Luke's pony Silver.    He was so much more than a pony to our family.  So many of Luke childhood memories will forever be wrapped with the joy Silver brought to our lives. He was a knights noble steed, a sheriffs partner, a bandits get away horse, he calf roped, bulldogged, never missed a haze, barrel raced, he played every roll Luke could dream up. Luke and I rode many great adventures together we fixed fence and had picnics in the forest.
 Silver was a blessing and a gift, as is my Missile.  As winter blows in so does arthritis pain and slippery conditions the hard decision blows on my face with every fall breeze.  Some days tears well my ears blurry as I cross the yard to catch him.  I'm not ready, not any part of me knows how to say good bye to my beautiful brown boy.  He's only 20 but his body says 30, multiple injuries through out a long career have compounded on top of a major stifle injury from last springs freezing rain storms.   Rounds of PRP therapy and pain management have proved unsuccessful for stabilizing his hind end.  I consult both his vets and haul him to the city hoping to hear I am wrong and there's something I can do.  He's not just a horse he's a piece of my heart, he has healed me and made me whole he is the magic of a horses sole.  He is a grounding source for my family anyone who could say different has never touched Missile.   Charles confirms my fears he's not stabile enough to get around on ice or snow, the possibility of finding him downed one winter morning is the most likely outcome.  We decide he deserves a gallant exit on a beautiful day.   I promise to have it done before the weather turns too poor but insist I need more time.  Fall has blessed us and winter holds off get time but it will never be enough.  I love him too much to watch him shrink up, waste away or end up suffering for my need to keep him.  My heart cries I choose a date and make a plan for his perfect last day.  
PEACE comes, for him, for me I start sleeping again he begins to gain weight.  I don’t know if it’s the weight being lifted off us knowing we have a plan or knowing I love him enough when he’s ready we will say good bye.  I know the day grows closer but until then I will love him and let my heart swell with joy as he plays with his 3 yr old pen mate. 
 
I’ll start Missiles Story in My next Blog.